


I'll Go Wherever You Go

by richietoaster



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: EDDIE AND RICHIE JUST CLICK SO WELL, Homophobia, M/M, New Kid AU, Slow Burn, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, THEY ARE BEST FUCKING FRIENDS, chapter 3 talks about past self harm so TW PLEASE READ WARNINGS, honestly you have to read the warnings in the notes when i give them, it may or may not be a trigger warning for you, mentions of depression and past self harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2019-07-06 06:05:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15880056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/richietoaster/pseuds/richietoaster
Summary: “You new?”A sigh pushes past Eddie’s lips, “Kinda tired of hearing that.”“What?” the stranger asks. “You’ve been getting it all day or somethin’?”“Try years. My mom and I have been moving constantly since I was in eighth grade.”“She cute?”“You’re disgusting,” Eddie spits out and brings up his cigarette to take another drag.The guy reaches inside his pocket, pats it twice more, and awkwardly coughs. “I’m sorry,” he says, clearly not having what he wanted, “You think I could bum one off of ya? Must’ve forgot mine in my locker.”Eddie hands the one in his hand over just like that, surprising the both of them. He clears his throat. “Eddie.. Uh, I’m Eddie.”“Richie.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> im so excited to be posting this!! i gave it hype a few days ago and hopefully everyone who was interested in reading it is still interested!! So, here is my newest WIP and i plan to have eleven chapters. I’m not too sure about the word count to be honest.. but, before I get into the first chapter- I want to personally thank @reddiepop (Allie) for being the FIRST person to hear about this, way back in March. And of course, for the help so far. 
> 
> Thank you to my two of three beautiful betas who have reviewed this chapter @sunsetozier (Ari) and @coffeekaspbrak (Ro) you both have helped me so much and i love you two so much 
> 
> now without further ado, here is chapter one!!!!!!

The second that his mother’s van pulls up in front of  _ Derry High,  _ Eddie can already tell it’ll be no different than the dozens of other times they’ve moved. He already knows that she’s not going to change her ways, he knows that he’s not going to make any friends, he knows he’s going to be alone, just like always.

When Sonia calls out to him, telling him to have a good first day of school, Eddie doesn’t turn around; he just flips her off from behind his back. Some of the students stare at him, but he doesn’t care.

Eddie is kind of offended when he gets to his first class and isn’t introduced to everyone like in the cliche movies and unrealistic fanfictions. He doesn’t pay attention in his first class, seeing as it’s only math. He would’ve just missed his cue to awkwardly say his name and where he’s from, anyway. 

In his third period, however, it’s different. Eddie sits down, and the girl next to him actually  _ speaks.  _

“Are you new? I think you’re new. I’ve never seen you here before.” 

Eddie gives her a look and lets out a small laugh, “What gave it away? Am I too silent, too friendless, or is it because it’s October?”

She laughs, smiles brightly, and extends her hand, “Perhaps all of them. I’m Allie Tozier.”

Eddie stares at her hand for a good three seconds before taking it in his own, “Eddie Kaspbrak.”

“Ms. Wright is going to be giving us topics for a project today. It’s like, a ten minute powerpoint or something. Would you like to be my partner?”

Eddie looks around the room before he gives his answer. He sees everyone talking to someone. They’ve all got a friend. Yet, Allie is speaking to him, the new kid. He thinks that maybe she doesn’t have anyone else to talk to.

“Yeah,” Eddie breathes. “Sure.”

 

* * *

  
  


Eddie learns that he and Allie don’t have lunch together. It makes him anxious, because he met someone who actually wants to be his friend, and he knows he’s not gonna be lucky enough for it to happen again. 

He slips out the side door just as the warning bell goes off, meaning everyone should be in their designated period by now. Eddie pulls out a pack of Marlboros, nearly dropping it as he jogs down the steps to the school stadium. 

Sneakily, he ducks under large metal rods, hiding underneath the bleachers so he won’t be caught. He takes his lighter out of his other pocket, holding a cigarette between his lips, and carefully lights it. His eyes close almost instinctively, smoke filling his lungs. And it’s almost like a release, like an escape. He hates it.

Eddie has wanted to quit for  _ years.  _  Hell, he’s probably wanted to quit since he started, but he can’t bring himself to. It’s the only thing that makes him feel alive, despite quite literally killing him with every drag. 

He’s in his head, loving the peace and quiet, loving the breeze he feels against his clothed arms. That is, until he hears footsteps and nearly panics, almost putting his cigarette out.

“Hey, hey- no, you don’t have to do that, I’m not a teacher. Just come down for a smoke like you.”

Eddie’s arm rests on his knee, a hand in his hair, “You scared the shit out of me,” and watches the other boy push his glasses up with his finger.

“You new?”

A sigh pushes past Eddie’s lips, “Kinda tired of hearing that.”

“What?” the stranger asks. “You’ve been getting it all day or somethin’?”

“Try  _ years _ . My mom and I have been moving constantly since I was in eighth grade.”

“She cute?”

“You’re disgusting,” Eddie spits out and brings up his cigarette to take another drag.

The guy reaches inside his pocket, pats it twice more, and awkwardly coughs. “I’m sorry,” he says, clearly not having what he wanted, “You think I could bum one off of ya? Must’ve forgot mine in my locker.”

Eddie hands the one in his hand over just like that, surprising the both of them. He clears his throat. “Eddie.. Uh, I’m Eddie.”

“Richie.”

“You look familiar,” Eddie says when Richie hands him back the cigarette. He brings it to his lips, slowly, when the other begins to speak.

“I’m one of two. Got a kid sister in the grade below me. Everyone thinks we’re twins, but we’re not. I’m obviously hotter.”

Eddie lets out a nose-exhale. “I’m sure.”

Richie ignores his comment. “You a senior?”

“No, junior.”

“I’m a senior. Last year of school.”

Eddie’s eyebrow quirks up. “Funny, I don’t think I asked.”

Richie inhales as much smoke as he can, blowing it in Eddie’s face, probably on purpose. “Feisty. I like you.”

“Who wouldn’t?”

It makes Richie laugh as he shifts his position. “I think you might be right, there. You’re cute  _ and  _ feisty- what more could someone ask for?”

Eddie rolls his eyes and tries not to smile. “So, who’s your sister?”

“Why, you wanna get with her?”  
“No, gross. I’m gay. I just thought that.. We’re both juniors, so like.. Maybe she’s in one of my classes or something.”

“Derry might be a small town but this is a big school.”

“Try me.”

“Alright, fine.” Richie shrugs, “Allie Tozier.”

Eddie lets out a laugh, “Third period. She’s in my science class.”

“No fucking way. You’re bullshitting me.”

“Absolutely not. She’s not only in my science class, but we’re also working on a project together.”

“I’m sorry,” Richie apologizes.

“For what?”

“Allie can be a little too much, sometimes.”

Eddie looks Richie over. “I can see where she gets it from.”

Richie pushes at the smaller boy’s shoulder, “Ha ha, very funny. Eddie Spaghetti gets off a good one.”

Eddie doesn’t bite back his smile this time, “You’re fucking weird. Also, Eddie Spaghetti? It’s a no from me.”

“All the more reason to call you it.”

Eddie shakes his head and licks his lips, reaching over to grab the cigarette from Richie’s hand, taking a drag. They stay silent, but he can tell Richie wants to say something. “What is it?”

“What’s what?”

“You want to say something. What is it?”

Richie shrugs, “I don’t know.. It’s just. You should do that more often.”

“What, smoke? Believe me, I smoke way too much, way more than I should.”

“No,” Richie sighs. “You should,” he pauses, “smile more. You’ve only smiled once since I’ve been down here. I saw you stopping yourself a couple times.”

Eddie doesn’t respond, just hands him the still half-lit cigarette. “I should go. I’ll see you around.”

Richie nods dumbly, “Yeah, okay.. I’ll see you, Eddie,” he watches as Eddie goes back up to the school.

When Eddie pulls the lighter out of his pocket to put in his locker later, he sees Richie’s number written messily across it. He takes it home instead.

 

* * *

  
  


When Eddie gets into his mother’s van, he sees Allie and Richie walk to their ride. Richie gets in the front seat.  _ He drives.  _

Both Allie and Richie catches his eye and waves, but Eddie doesn’t wave back. He turns his head quickly, hoping his mom didn’t catch the interaction.

“How was school, Eddie?” Sonia asks, trying to get his attention. She thinks he seems happier than usual.

“You really want to know?” Eddie raises an eyebrow.  _ This is new.  _

“Yes, of course.”

“It was fine. Nothing special,” He looks at his mother, watching her facial expression change, as if she didn’t believe him.

“Really? Do you like your classes? Meet anybody?”  _ A boy, she means. _

“Yeah, I met this one girl in my science class-”

Sonia cuts him off, “A girl?” She almost sounds hopeful.

Eddie tries not to get angry, “Yes. A girl. We’re working on a project together.”

_ “A girl?” _

“Are you really doing this right now?” Eddie rolls his eyes and hits his head on the headrest.

“I’m just curious, Eddie. I’m your mother and I have the right to be.”

“She’s just a friend. Barely even that, I just met her.”

“Okay, well.. Do you like this school better than the others? I like this town better. Much more..  _ simple _ than the cities.”

“So you mean, more conservative?” Eddie lets out a dry laugh.

“No, I didn’t say that. But you know how I like more traditional views, and this town is what I like. This town appreciates the values of.. a man and a woman.” Sonia smiles sweetly at her son.

Eddie thinks he might vomit. “Stop. Just stop it.”

“Sweetie, I-”

“You want to know the truth on what I think? I think that my opinion doesn’t matter with you, because we both know you’re going to drag me to at least two more schools before I graduate. I have no say in anything with you.” Eddie hits the dashboard.

“I just wanted to know how your first day went, I’m not trying to argue with you.”

“Honestly, you can stop. We’re not in front of anyone, and I’m not buying it.”

Sonia gives him a look, “What are you talking about? Buying what?”

“Your  _ bullshit _ . I’m not buying your bullshit.”

“Excuse me? Do  _ not  _ use that type of language in front of me! I am your  _ mother _ !”

Eddie shrugs, “So?”

“What do you mean  _ so?” _

“I  _ mean,  _ I don’t care. And I can’t do this. You’re full of shit. Just drop the act already.”

Incredulous. “My  _ act?”  _

“Yes, your act. I love the one you also like to put on about actually caring about me.”

“Eddie, that’s not true. I care a lot about you. You are my son... I just want to talk to you.”

“You know what, mom? First days for me are never actually great, but it’s the best it could’ve been. Better than the, what? Fourteen other first days I’ve had? Or has it been more and I’ve lost count?”

“Eddie,” Sonia warns. “Is this what all of this is about? You know I can’t control when we have to move. You know it’s because of work.”

“Can’t you, though? Are you  _ sure  _ it’s because of work? Or is it because you just don’t want me to have a life; to meet someone, because you can’t stand the fact that I’m gay?”

Sonia gasps.

“Or, because you can’t stay in one place for too long because everything reminds you of Dad?”

_ “Edward Kaspbrak-” _

“Or maybe even both-”

The harsh, abrupt slap across Eddie’s cheek is what finally silences him, and he thinks that the sudden pain in his face might be from from the emotional hurt, not the physical. He presses his palm to the angry and red blotchy mark that starts to spread across his skin.  

“Fuck you,” Eddie opens the car door and slams it shut once he’s on the sidewalk.

Sonia rolls down the window, “Now how do you expect to get home?”  
“I don’t know. I’ll walk.”

“You don’t know how to get there.”

Eddie raises his voice, “I’ll GPS it for fuck’s sake, I don’t care! I just can’t be around you right now.”

“Okay. That’s fine. But the second you walk through that door, the second you get home, I’ll be sitting on the couch. I’ll expect an apology.”

Eddie lets a tear run down his face after she speeds off. 

“You’ll never get one,” he says into the air.

 

* * *

  
  


Eddie runs his fingers on the window pane, tracing the raindrops as they flow. They remind him of teardrops. Maybe it’s a metaphor of nature on how he feels trapped. Trapped in the house and stuck with his manipulative mother. Eddie has always seen her in a negative light since his father passed away. It’s like she made a dramatic change, but not a good kind. She became too overprotective, overbearing, and selfish. Like she wanted him all to herself. 

At first it might’ve been just a thing for her- she lost her husband and now she didn’t want to lose her son, either. But then it was more than that. She wanted to be in control of Eddie and everything in his life. 

Eddie turns away from the window and runs a hand through his hair. In his free hand, he has his lighter from earlier, and he tosses it up a few times, staring at the numbers written on it. Eddie thinks that maybe he should call Richie. Just to keep his mind from drifting back into his thoughts, of course. Not because he finds the taller boy insanely attractive. Nope, not at all. 

It takes him all but three seconds before he grabs his phone and types the digits in carefully.

It rings twice before Richie picks up. “Hello?”

“You know, I wasn’t sure if that a nine or an eight, and I completely took a shot in the dark with it.”

He hears Richie laugh, “Seems like you’re just really lucky, huh? I was hoping you’d get around to calling or texting me.”

“When did you even write your number on my lighter? I don’t remember seeing you do it.”

“I’m sneaky like that.” Richie tells him coyly.

“Are you now?”

“Yeah, I am. Are you? Would you be down if I asked if you wanted to take a walk? I mean, hypothetically, of course. If you’re sneaky.”

Eddie nods, “Hm, hypothetically? Well,  _ hypothetically, _ let’s just say, that my mother has ears like a hawk. That bitch can detect me coming down the stairs from miles away.”

“So.. hypothetically, if you’re mom didn’t have ears like a hawk, you would go with me?”

“Hypothetically, yes.”

They’re beating around the bush and Eddie knows it. He would go out if he knew his mom would never find out, but if somehow she wouldn’t catch him on her own, she’d figure it out one way or another.

Eddie bites his lip and asks, “Can I take a raincheck?” 

“You mean-”

“For real. I would love to hang out with you sometime. Outside from the bleachers, I mean.”

“Is that going to be a thing now?” Richie asks, and he hopes it is.

“Yeah, it just might be.”

“Great.. Well I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow.”

Eddie smiles, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Neither of them hang up at first. They both wait a few seconds until Richie finally ends the call. Eddie has no idea what the fuck that was, has no idea why he’s opening up to a complete stranger, but all he could say is that he wouldn’t have minded falling asleep to Richie’s breathing.

 


	2. Chapter 2

“So, my mom’s a piece of shit,” Eddie says to Richie a week later, under the bleachers.

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, there’s no joke, I just thought I’d say it.” 

Richie laughs and Eddie smiles, “No shit?”

“Yeah, total bitch. I wasn’t kidding when I told you that the other night,” Eddie takes the cigarette out of Richie’s hand and inhales.

“Is she really a hawk, too, then?”

“Probably. I mean, I went downstairs to get a glass of water at like three in the morning and she comes to the kitchen in a rush, and just starts badgering me with questions.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Eddie shrugs, saying it almost in a hurry, “She thinks I’ll get up in the middle of the night and leave her.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Richie tells him.

“No, not really. I would do it.”

Richie looks away and doesn’t say anything.

“Is your family good?”

“Yeah,” Richie nods, “Although, my parents are split, but they still get along great. They’re awesome coparents. To be honest, I think they’re rekindling their relationship again.” Richie smiles, “My sister is a bitch, but she’s also seventeen and constantly hormonal. My mom always says, ‘and I thought when you hit puberty it was bad’.”

“Was it?”

“No.” A pause. “Well, I grew seven inches over the summer going to junior year and my mom was pissed that she had to buy me a whole new wardrobe. So, if you count that, then sure.”

Eddie laughs, “My mom still forces me to eat my greens at dinner. She still thinks there’s a chance I’ll grow.”

“Yeah, what are you, like four nine?”

“Excuse me, but I’ll have you know that I am  _ five four.” _

Richie lets out a cackle and promptly chokes on the smoke from his cigarette.

“Serves you right,” Eddie turns his head to hide another smile. Richie doesn’t comment on it. He watches Richie for a moment, and realizes that he’s staring. It’s not in a creepy way, but Eddie can see that the other boy is observing him. His gaze shifts suddenly, casting up and down his body.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Eddie asks quietly, embarrassed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

* * *

  
  


“Eddie! Eddie! Wait up!”

He’s about to close his locker when he hears Allie’s voice. “I’m not leaving just yet, I just had to put some things in here,” Eddie taps the metal door.

“Oh, okay, cool.. So, I was thinking, I feel bad for missing third today.”

“Oh, no- don’t worry, I did some research in the library today,” Eddie nudges her shoulder, “It’s not everyday you get to see what it’s like to be:  _ A day in the life of an organism.” _

“Was that a direct quote from Ms. Wright?”

“Up close and personal.”

“God, she’s so cringey.” Allie does a one-eighty and stops in front of Eddie before he can get another word in, “Anyway. I’m a slut for turning in assignments early-” Eddie snorts, “- so we should work on it later.. My house or-”

“Your house,” Eddie says immediately, but continues once he’s given a look, “My mom.. She’s crazy.”

Allie gives him an understanding nod.

They walk out of the school together in silence and Eddie sees his mom’s van parked in the lot. He sighs and closes his eyes, knowing well that she’ll ask about Allie.

“Do you need a ride? My brother, well you know Richie, sort of- he probably won’t mind driving you home.”

“How presumptuous of you, Al.” Eddie and Allie turn around to face Richie, who conveniently ended up behind them, “I mean, you’re not wrong, though. I wouldn’t mind at all.”

“I can’t.. My mom’s already waiting for me.. But thanks for the offer, I’ll take you up on it sometime.” 

“Sure, of course. Are you still coming over tonight? If so, we should exchange numbers so I can, like, give you my address.”

Eddie hands his phone over, “Yeah. I’ll text you later,” he looks over to where his mom’s van is, and he anxiously taps his foot. Once Allie hands his phone back, he’s darting toward the vehicle. His mom is going to be angry for making her wait. Sonia Kaspbrak does  _ not  _ like waiting. 

 

* * *

  
  


“What do you mean I can’t go?”

“Exactly that.” Sonia sips her tea and smiles at Eddie, “You should get to know the neighborhood before you’re going off to meet with your friends.”

“Friends? You mean the two I was standing outside with? They’re Allie and Richie. Allie is my partner on our science project and Richie is her brother. I tried not to make you wait but we were just.. talking.” Eddie shifts under his mother’s gaze, who’s watching him expectantly, waiting for him to say the wrong thing. 

Sonia raises an eyebrow at her son and cocks her head. “Talking, huh? So, you won’t be alone with that...  _ boy?” _

Eddie groans and picks up his backpack, throwing his binder and laptop inside of it and zipping it up. He knew she would pull something like this. She always does. “Goodbye,  _ mother. _ I’ll be back later.” 

 

* * *

  
  


Eddie stands in front of the Tozier household. He can feel the warmth radiating from underneath of the door, and the Welcome mat really makes him feel it. He raises a fist to knock on the door.

“Sorry I’m late,” Eddie says when Allie opens the door, letting him step in. He looks around and notices a bunch of family photos hanging on the walls and sat on the end tables, “My mother... She, uh- she’s really something else, I’ll tell you.”

Allie smiles and gestures him to sit anywhere.“No, it’s okay! My mom and Richie will be home soon, so it’s all good. She’s excited to meet you.”

Eddie rubs his jaw awkwardly, and slips his shoes off, licking his lips, “She wants to meet me?” He’s never had anybody..  _ excited..  _ to meet him before. 

“Yeah,” Allie shuts the door behind her, “I’ve mentioned you a few times in the last few days. And Richie… well, I didn’t know you two were friends.” Eddie swallows nervously. “Because he won’t shut up about you.”  _ He talks about you, he talks about you, he talks about you. _

“Oh?” 

“Yeah, but he never shuts up about anything. He’s got a big mouth.”

Eddie chuckles to himself;  _ it’s true,  _ he thinks,  _ he does have a big mouth.  _ “Uh, so should we start?”

“Of course! I’ve already done some research so you can type it into Google Docs and I’ll start like, drawing some pictures or something.”

“You can draw?”

“Yeah, I can,” Allie smiles shyly. 

Eddie nods, “That’s really cool. You should show me some of your drawings sometime.” She seems hesitant for a moment, but begins to nod slowly.

“Yeah, sometime.”

After logging in to his laptop, Eddie signs into his drive and begins to type the notes Allie had written down.

 

* * *

  
  


“We’re homeee,” Richie draws out, opening the door for his mother.

“Took you long enough,” It’s only been a mere hour, though. Allie stands up from her spot on the couch and goes to help the both of them unload groceries, “I’m starved.”

“Oh, I’m not cooking tonight,” Mrs. Tozier says, “I had Richie order pizza on the way home. Should be here in like.. ten minutes.” She pauses and looks at Eddie. “Is this Eddie?”

“Yes. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Tozier,” Eddie stands up and holds out a hand for her to shake, but she pulls him into a hug.

“Call me Maggie, Dear.” Maggie clears her throat, “So, you’re the kid that neither of mine can shut up about?”

Eddie laughs nervously. “I guess so.” He plays with his fingers in an act of anxiousness, but Maggie quickly stills them. When she locks eyes with Eddie, the look she gives him immediately calms him down, and any ounce of uneasiness completely left his mind. 

He nearly expects her to say something deep or compassionate, but instead she says, “So, you like pepperoni on your pizza, right?” and Eddie wants to laugh.

“Yes, I like pepperoni.”

Maggie smiles in response and goes to the kitchen, finishing unloading, and goes upstairs. She tells the three teens to call her down when the pizza arrives.

“I like your mom,” Eddie tells the both of them.

“Your mom is pretty great as well,” Richie attempts to joke, and Allie hits his shoulder.

“She’s really not. She really sucks.”

“I bet she’s good at it, too.”

_ “Richie.”  _ Allie shakes her head at her brother. It gets quiet, the scolding still lingering in the air. “I’m going to get a drink. Do you want something, Eddie?”

“A glass of water is fine, thanks.”

Richie scoffs, “Not gonna ask your own brother?”

“Choke,” is all Allie says before leaving the room, and it makes Eddie snort.

And it’s like Richie has heart eyes from it, “Damn, Eds. If roasting myself has the effect of making you laugh, then I should do it everyday.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, trying not to show the softness when he speaks, “Shut up, Richie.”

Richie opens his mouth to say something else, but Allie comes back into the room, respectfully handing Eddie a glass of ice water, and he keeps his mouth shut. He’ll save it for another time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***TRIGGER WARNING***!! talks about past self harm/scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for your patience! partially only posting this because Amelia (tinyarmedtrex) told me to. also because its been like 8 months but whos counting?
> 
> please do not expect updates quickly. I have a broken finger so it sometimes hurts to type. I have some chapters already typed but if i keep posting them quicker than i write the rest of the story, it'll take me some time to get it all out so PLEASE be patient with me and thank you for being so far. you are all appreciated!!
> 
> \- Sara

Eddie goes home late the night he had dinner with the Toziers. He crept back into his own house five minutes after midnight and his mother nearly had him at the throat. She was drilling in his head that he was coming home later and later every time he stays out, (even though this is the first time in months he’s left his house) that one night he’s not going to come back at all. Eddie doesn’t say it, but he wishes he didn’t have to come home.

 

Now, Sonia sits in her chair, rocking back and forth in it, and it makes Eddie feel anxious. They haven’t had much conversation since that night, three weeks ago. The tension is starting to build. She just stares at him from a distance, trying to make him feel guilty, watching his every move from him loading his bag to grabbing a poptart, to finishing up late homework.

And suddenly, when her looks are too much, and Eddie can’t stand it anymore, he says: “I’m gonna go get dressed.”

“That’s a good idea.” Eddie rolls his eyes at her words.

He stalks up the steps quickly, trying to get to his room at lightning speed.

A few glances through his closet, he finds all of his favorite shirts must be in the wash. So he shifts further to the back, trying to find a long-sleeved shirt. It isn’t cold outside, but Eddie’s had a rough past, so he always feels the need to cover his arms no matter the weather.

But, it doesn’t seem like luck is in his favor, because he’s forced to put on a short sleeved shirt. He grabs a jacket, too, but when he goes downstairs his mother yells at him, telling him not to put it on. She claims she’s afraid he’ll have a _heatstroke._ Eddie knows it’s ridiculous. A heatstroke in fucking fifty degree weather, okay, _sure._

Yet Eddie doesn’t try and argue with her. He’s not in the mood, _she’s_ not in the mood, and he’s pretty sure with the way he’s been acting, he’s on thin fucking ice. Eddie would test her patience, but he doesn’t even have enough of his own to deal with her shit, so he decides against it.

Sonia watches her son cover his arms the second his backpack is slung over his shoulders, and she analyzes the situation carefully, before making assumptions. She remembers reading online about kids _self harming._ She remembers it leading to suicide and depression, and she’s suddenly saying, “Eddie, hold out your arms.”

Eddie’s eyes widen, and he looks absolutely terrified. “What? Why?”

“Please, Eddie.”

 _“Why?”_ Eddie wants an answer.

Sonia isn’t having any of this nonsense, and she’s pulling Eddie’s arms from his side, inspecting his wrists and forearms intently. She sees scars. Some faded, some more noticeable. None of them look new or fresh.

“Why would you do this to yourself?”

Eddie lets out a groan, “Ma, please-”

“Eddie, just talk to me. You don’t have to harm yourself. Why would you harm yourself?”

“I’m not harming myself!”

Sonia narrows her eyes, tightens her grip on Eddie’s arms, “don’t lie to me, Eddie.”

He rephrases, “I’m not harming myself _anymore.”_

“Why?”

“Can we not talk about this?” Eddie yanks his arms free. “I’m going to be late for school.”

“I don’t care. What I _care_ about is your safety!”

 _Since when?_ “I’m sure you do.” _Lies._ “I have work to do, mom. You’re going to make me late.”

So, Sonia drives him to school. But instead of pulling up and dropping him off, she parks and walks him into the school himself, taking him into the office and demanding that he talk to his counselor.

“This is ridiculous.” Eddie crosses his arms.

“No,” his mother says, grabbing his wrist, _“This_ is ridiculous.”

Eddie scowls at her and steps away from her.

“Miss Reynolds will be out in a moment,” the secretary says, “She’s on a phone call right now.”

Sonia nods, “I can wait.”

 

A few minutes later, a woman, probably in her early thirties, comes out of the office, “Eddie?”

Eddie turns his head, slowly.

“Our secretary says that you want to speak to me?”

“I don’t. My mother wants me to, though.”

“Why is this?” She asks, tilting her head.

“Because he is _self harming.”_

Eddie looks at his mother, “Can you be any louder? Do you _want_ the whole school to know that the new kid is an _emo freak_?”

“Shut up, Eddie.” Sonia scolds, “Of course I don’t.”

“Why are you self harming, Eddie?”

“I’m _not._ Jesus, I stopped months ago. Can we not talk about this in public? Preferably not at all?” Eddie rubs at his temples.

“We can talk in my office. Will your mom be joining us?”

“Absolutely not.”

Sonia looks pissed, but Miss Reynolds smiles anyway, “Thanks for bringing him in, Ms. Kaspbrak. I’ll take it from here.”

 

* * *

 

Eddie struggles to light the cigarette that’s draped between his fingertips. There are tears running down his face, and he’s hyperventilating and he just wants to go home- no, _fuck that._ He wants to be far, far away from where he currently resides.

He can’t get the damned fucking thing to light. Out of frustration, he throws the lighter to the ground and sobs into his hands, remembering what had gone down in Miss Reynolds’ office.

 

_“Eddie, I understand that you’re hurting. Why?” She says._

_“I would really not like to talk about it.” Eddie looks away and shrinks down into his chair, sighing._

_“Your mother and I are concerned for you-”_

_“My mother doesn’t give a shit about me. And you? That’s your job.”_

_“Eddie,” Miss Reynolds sighs, “it is my job to help, not to care. That comes naturally.”_

_“How many times have you used that line?”_

_Miss Reynolds puts her pen down and leans forward. “Once. On you.” She pauses. “I don’t know you, but maybe if you try to let me in-”_

_“Why would I do that?”_

_“Eddie, please. Can you at least give me a reason why you won’t talk about it?”_

_Eddie purses his lips, “You wouldn’t believe me.”_

_The counselor tilts her head, “Try me.” A bold yet manipulative move._

_“No. Many kids in this school are probably going through the same thing as I am,  probably worse, and with all due respect, it fucking sucks that I’m the one that you have to see about the issue. Someone wants to be helped, but I don’t need it. My past is my past and that’s all I’m going to say. I don’t need to be reminded of anything. I’m happy-,” Eddie coughs, “happier,” he corrects, “now. And I would really like if we could just leave it at that.”_

_He leaves the office and storms to his spot under the bleachers._

 

* * *

 

“Eddie?”

He quickly wipes at the tears that stain his face, “oh! I’m- _fuck-_ I’m sorry, I’ll leave,” Eddie picks up his bag from the ground, slinging it over his shoulders.

“Hey, hey,” Richie reaches out to stop him, “You don’t have to go.. Do you.. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” Eddie shakes his head, “No. Don’t make me-”

“It’s alright, no, It’s alright, I won’t make you do anything.” Richie cautiously opens his arms, inviting his friend into a hug, which he gladly accepts. “Do you want me to take you home?”

“No, my mother would go ballistic.”

“Why?” Richie ponders, pulling back to look at the smaller boy.

“Well, for starters, she doesn’t like you.”

Richie moves away completely, sputtering, “What? She hasn’t even _met_ me!”

“Yeah, well to her, that doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I’m a boy who likes boys, and you happen to be a boy.”

Eddie watches Richie raise his eyebrows in a judging manner.

“She’s like that, huh?”

“I told you she’s a bitch.” Eddie pauses, noticing Richie’s encouraging eyes, like it’s telling him to speak and he’ll actually listen, unlike the counselor’s manipulative motives. “She’s just so fucking controlling and- and it’s like I can’t even fucking win with her. She fights with me about everything. My clothing, my friends, my grades, my past, my sexuality.. My.. my fucking _deceased_ father, who has been a better parent than she could _ever_ be!”

Richie nods in agreement and stays silent for a moment, not knowing if Eddie wants him to comment on it, but before he can, Eddie is turning on his heels to look at him suddenly, “Do you.. wanna go somewhere?”

“Where would you like to go? Any certain requests?” Richie asks with genuine curiosity.

“Yes, actually.. If you don’t mind.”

 

* * *

 

The two pull up into a cemetary, the exact one where Eddie’s father had been buried. Eddie shoves his hands into his pockets, “I’m sorry. You were probably expecting like, a bowling alley or an arcade so we could play _Street Fighter_ or something. We can leave if you-”

“Eddie, it’s okay,” Richie encourages him with a smile, “Would you like me to stay here, or do you want me to come with you?”

“Come with me?” Eddie asks.

“Of course.”

So they walk. The distance isn’t long, and when they get to where they want to be, Eddie sits next to his Father’s headstone.

“He was always the better parent,” Eddie confesses, “My dad was my best friend.”

Richie stays quiet to let Eddie speak and sits next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Eddie doesn’t cry. It’s not a sad moment, weirdly enough. “Can, uh, _would_ you introduce me to him?”

The corners of Eddie’s mouth lift up, “Really? You want me to?”

“Yeah,” Richie says.

“Richie,” Eddie breathes, almost feeling silly about it, but at the same time feeling overly grateful, “meet my dad. Dad, meet Richie.” He smiles, “He’s been the only one keeping me sane in the month that I’ve been here. Mom’s getting worse and I don’t want to move again. I.. like it here.” He whispers the last sentence unintended for Richie to hear, “He accepts me for who I am,” but Richie does, and his heart swells.

 

* * *

  


“Edward James Kaspbrak, where have you been?” is what Eddie hears the second he steps through the front door. “The school called today. Said you missed every class after first period, and _now_ you come strolling in this house at nearly nine o’clock, hours after you should’ve been home!”

“I’m sorry, ma,” he’s not. “I was out.”

“Out,” Sonia scoffs, “you were supposed to be at _school!”_

“I went to see Dad, okay?” Eddie relents, sighing.

“Without me?”

“I needed to.”

Sonia crosses her arms, “And how did you get there? The cemetery is nearly forty-five minutes outside of town.”

Eddie stays silent.

“Edward Kaspbrak..”

“What?” Eddie knits his eyebrows together.

“Don’t tell me that.. that _boy_ took you..”

“He’s my friend! He was doing me a favor, no thanks to you. You made today hell for me and I just needed to see Dad.”

Sonia looks betrayed, “I can’t believe you. I don’t want you to see that kid ever again.”

“Well, ma, we can’t always get what we want, can we? It’s the twenty-first century, stop acting as if this is the fifties.” Eddie walks away before his mother can get another word in, running to his room to find his secret stash, and takes out two fifty dollar bills, shoving them into his pocket.

He slips out of his house, ignoring protests from his mother.

 

* * *

 

Richie closes the door behind him as quietly as he can. His mom and sister wouldn’t be asleep before ten, but he doesn’t want to alert them.

“Where were you? You’ve had me worried sick, Rich!” His mom’s voice sounds from behind him. Richie turns around.

“I’m sorry, mom. I should’ve texted you but my phone died. I was with Eddie..”

“That's no excuse, you didn't come home after school."

"I'm sorry, ma, I really am."

Maggie sighs, "Just make sure you have your charger on you next time,” she slings her arm around her son’s shoulders, “And.. Eddie, huh?”

Richie’s face feels suddenly hot, “It- It’s not like _that._ I took him to see his father at the grave.”

“That was a nice thing to do.” Maggie laughs, “And I’m just teasing you!’

“Very funny.”

“It is, you should’ve seen your face,” Maggie grins and kisses his cheek. “Sorry for embarrassing you, sweetie.”

“No, it’s okay.”

“Alright, good. Now, go upstairs and say hi to your sister. She was worried about you.”

 

* * *

 

Richie knocks three times on Allie’s bedroom door before she opens it, “You’re a little shit.”

“What? What’d I do?”

“I had to ask mom to leave work early so she could pick me up from school, since _someone_ decided to skip.”

“Fuck,” Richie curses, “I’m sorry, Al. I.. I forgot, I’m so sorry.”

“You’re lucky I love you. I also was worried about you. Like if what if someone had like, kidnapped you or something?”

“Unlikely,” Richie chuckles.

“Where did you go?”

He swallows, “I was.. Out.”

“Obviously. With who?”

“Uh..” Richie looks at the ceiling, looks at the floor, deciding to tell the truth, “I was with Eddie.”

Allie raises an eyebrow, “With Eddie? Stealing my friends now, huh?”

“No, I’m not, I-”

“What’s the deal with you two, anyway?” There’s a knowing look on her face.

“We just smoke together sometimes at lunch.. It’s.. nothing. We’re barely friends,” Richie lies. They’re definitely friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> richietoaster.tumblr.com  
> ko-fi.com/richietoaster

**Author's Note:**

> pls give me validation
> 
> also come say hi on tumblr @richietoaster


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